i went to costa rica for a year. i'm back. i was trying to save my life and it didn't work.|
i was emotionally abused as a child and have never been able to connect normally with people. i have tried to get help for years and it hasn't come to much. i recently diagnosed myself with PTSD, which is very frequently misdiagnosed as they don't really understand it yet.
for all the abuse i've been through, at the hands of my parents, peers, strangers, and the callousness of the blind eyes turned, the worst thing done to me is that my parents didn't love me. i had no base to work from, very little to sustain me and allow me to recover from all the damage i took.
trying to stay alive. succeeding so far.
i am an atheist, and i do not apologize for looking down on people who still want to believe in myths when reason is abundant.
still trying to understand myself and this world, and hoping that i can find a viable relationship to it. hoping to find some help and kindness along the way, but for all i've been through, for all i've seen, i'm a bit spooked.
if you have read this far, then i'm either more fascinating than people let on, or you are desperately bored. nonetheless, you should let me know what you think, of anything, me, you, the world, my writing, in light of all i've divulged.